Smack Your Balls
Kelli Rose Studios
Smack Your Balls is a physics-based casual care and score-attack game where you cool, dry, groom, powder, and maintain a reactive ballsack. Master localized care tools, manage changing conditions, survive Sack Attack events, chase high scores, and unlock increasingly questionable equipment.
Configuration requise
Exigences minimales
Exigences recommandées
À propos de ce jeu
STRANGE. STRESSFUL. SURPRISINGLY SKILLFUL.
Welcome to Smack Your Balls, where proper sack maintenance is serious business.
Cool them. Dry them. Groom them. Powder them. Keep them comfortable. And when the situation calls for it, smack the hell out of them.
Behind the ridiculous premise is a surprisingly involved physics-based care game where temperature, moisture, hair, comfort, weather, and localized surface care all demand your attention.
YOUR BALLS NEED YOU.
Your sack is constantly changing.
Heat makes it red. Cold makes it shrink. Moisture builds up. Hair grows. Comfort drops. And the weather has absolutely no respect for your personal situation.
Use the right tools and work different areas of the pouch before a minor problem becomes a full-blown sack emergency.
COOL IT. DRY IT. GROOM IT.
Every tool has a purpose.
Towel: Move it across the pouch to dry wet areas.
Fan: Cool things down before they get dangerously hot.
Trimmer: Keep dynamically growing hair under control.
Powder: Spread it where it is actually needed.
Feather: Sometimes the boys need a little comfort.
Care Hand: The original multipurpose sack-maintenance device.
Smacking Tools: For when responsible care has clearly failed.
Many care actions are localized, meaning proper coverage and movement matter.
You cannot just hold the trimmer in one spot and expect professional results.
JUST YOU AND YOUR BALLS.
Casual Mode gives you the freedom to maintain your sack at your own pace.
Experiment with the tools, watch the physics react, keep everything comfortable, or neglect every responsibility you have and see what happens.
No enemies.
No world to save.
Just balls.
BEAT THE CLOCK. PROTECT THE SACK.
Timed Challenge turns proper sack maintenance into a score attack.
Work quickly, chain successful care actions, maintain your multiplier, and keep everything under control before time runs out.
Push your high scores higher to unlock additional equipment.
Apparently competitive ball maintenance has progression now.
THE WEATHER HATES YOUR BALLS.
Sack Attack takes everything you have learned and makes it worse.
Rain, snow, heat, storms, and other environmental conditions push your sack toward failure while escalating events force you to constantly change priorities.
One minute you are drying them.
The next they are freezing.
Then everything is overheating.
Stay calm.
Maintain the sack.
PICK YOUR PUNISHMENT.
Classic: Survive escalating conditions for as long as you can.
Blitz : Fast, concentrated sack-related panic.
Endless : No timer. No difficulty ceiling. No mercy.
Daily Sack : Take on a daily challenge where everyone faces the same conditions.
YOUR BALLS REACT.
The pouch is not just a static prop.
Your actions and its condition affect how it looks and behaves.
Physics-based movement and interaction
Dynamic temperature
Heat redness
Cold shrinkage
Moisture and wetness
Localized drying
Dynamic hair growth
Localized trimming
Powder coverage
Comfort management
Dynamic weather conditions
Treat them well and they will look the part.
Treat them badly and the evidence becomes increasingly difficult to ignore.
UNLOCK QUESTIONABLE EQUIPMENT.
Earn higher scores and progress through challenges to unlock additional care hands and held items.
Some are useful.
Some are ridiculous.
Some should probably never have been placed anywhere near a ballsack.
MAKE THEM YOURS.
Choose your preferred skin tone while heat, cold, moisture, and other dynamic effects continue to react on top of it.
Your balls.
Your responsibility.
NINE LANGUAGES. ONE UNIVERSAL PROBLEM.
Smack Your Balls supports English, Simplified Chinese, Russian, Spanish, German, Brazilian Portuguese, Japanese, Korean, and French.
Because proper sack maintenance knows no borders.
IT IS MORE COMPLICATED THAN IT LOOKS.
Physics-based sack interaction
Localized surface-care mechanics
Dynamic temperature and moisture
Hair growth and grooming
Cold shrinkage
Comfort management
Multiple care tools
Unlockable equipment
Casual Mode
Timed Challenge
Sack Attack
Classic, Blitz and Endless variants
Daily challenges
Dynamic weather events
High-score progression
Appearance customization
Mouse and controller support
TAKE CARE OF YOUR BALLS.
You could save the universe.
You could become a legendary warrior.
You could build an empire.
Or you could spend your evening carefully towel-drying a physics-simulated ballsack before hitting it with a ping-pong paddle.
Smack Your Balls
Strange. Stressful. Surprisingly skillful.
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